Celebrity downfalls aren’t hard to predict: First goes the fame…then goes the money…then goes the arm candy. So we were hardly shocked to hear that Damon Dash got hit with divorce papers from wifey Rachel Roy earlier this month. Damn, homie. Your boy is caught in an “L” rainstorm and he ain’t got an umbrella.
But sometimes you gotta hit the bottom to get back on top, and we know you can’t keep Dame down forever. We’ve already advised him on ways to get his swag back and now we’re hand-picking 5 possible new girlfriends for the Roc-A-Fella co-founder. Out with the ex-girl, now it’s on to the next girl…
WHY? An industry
has-beenveteran pimpingdating a slored-outsexy chick? It’s an easy way to stay relevant, word to Ice-T and Coco. Plus, c’mon: This ain’t a bad way to get your mind off the ex.
WHY? The media has been fucking Dame for the last few months, so he might as well start fucking them. Angela’s one of hip-hop’s hottest gossip girls, so maybe she’ll protect his name for a while. Until they break up. Then he’s really fucked.
WHY? Her face is twisted and she’s more trifey than wifey, but think of it this way: Dame can start grooming the 8 future members of State Property 2025 early. EARLY!
WHY? The cooking monster is just one letter away from (and about 1,000 times uglier than) his ex-wifey, but hey—she got paper, her hand job game is aight, and (on the low) she pack an onion. Special bonus: Dame can keep his ex’s monogrammed towels!